Author Archives: elvamax1

The man who was misgendering Tallie at work has finally been fired.  This good news comes a little too late for Tallie.  One of her work friends has been keeping Tallie apprised of the goings-on with the jerk who called Tallie “sir” and “he” and made pointed comments when she walked into the same room.  HerContinue reading “Thank you, Man: Transphobia in the Workplace”

Our neighbor suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, and his wife is dedicated to his care. She has him at home still, which means his care is her full-time job.  She told me today, when I saw her at the mailboxes, it is their 30th anniversary.  “I couldn’t take him to a restaurant,” she said, pointing toContinue reading “A World Not Designed For”

When I was a kid I used to sneak books from my brother’s personal “library,” which consisted of his college books stacked in the top of his closet. Many of those books changed the trajectory of my life because of their revolutionary ideas. One writer hidden in my brother’s library who had a tremendous impactContinue reading “Reading Under Cover”

We’re ordinary people. We work, pay bills, discuss what to make for dinner, watch our stories on streaming, fret over minutiae, are servants to our pets. There is nothing glamorous or exciting or dangerous about our lives. Still, we’re being targeted as “the enemy,” a threat to family values. Our gender nonconformity has been transmutedContinue reading “Ordinary”

I remember the first time I saw my childhood girlfriend put on men’s underwear.  I don’t remember the exact time.  I don’t remember if we were in high school, or if *Zee was already in college, but I remember the feeling I had when she deliberately pulled men’s underwear out of her dresser drawer, heldContinue reading “Boxer Briefs”

I am finally regaining enough composure after the Roe vs. Wade devastation to blog again.  In order to remain calm, I keep reminding myself that the Supreme Court, although the supreme law of the land, isn’t like Moses with his tablets. Supreme Court rulings aren’t necessarily set in stone.  I keep reminding myself it’s notContinue reading “Owning It”

The Supreme Court took away a person’s personhood today by taking away federal protections, promises, progress, by telling us we don’t own our bodies once another body begins, even in half-hearted stages, zygotes got more rights than a full-on fully-formed human, and here we are being told our rape, our molestation, our mistake, our going-to-miscarry-nonformed-nonbaby,Continue reading “Birds and Bees & Jesus”

Natalie recently had the first in a series of gender reassignment surgeries. Back in the day we called it “the sex change,” but now I know better.  There isn’t just one sex change surgery and — BAM! –transition done.  I wish. I’m sure multitudes of trans people wished so, too. But unfortunately, the transition isContinue reading “Chafing Thighs”

This post has little to do with gender and everything to do with sisterhood.  In less than two years I’ve lost four important women in my life, two blood sisters and two chosen sisters, and the grief is almost unbearable.  I’m swallowed up by the hole that these women left behind, and I go aboutContinue reading “Sisterhood”