Author Archives: elvamax1

One of the earliest clues Natalie was transgender was her admission to me how uncomfortable she was in men’s bathrooms.  At the time she was presenting as a man, so why would using a urinal bother her? “It doesn’t feel right to use a urinal,” she’d say. “I wait for an empty stall,” she’d say. Continue reading “Bathrooms”

Journal July 2, 2020 She’s chosen a name, or part of one anyway.  Natalie.  “I like the nickname Nat,” she said. Every day my vision of Ross blurs into the past and Natalie comes into focus.  She has wigs now.  A friend gave her more clothes.  She’s learning to put on make-up and soften herContinue reading “Coming into Focus”

When I was about 13 or 14 years old, I read an article about David Bowie that claimed he was bisexual. I was curious (now we might call this bi-curious, ha!), and so I researched what being bisexual was all about. By research, I mean I asked my brother, who is 13 years older andContinue reading “Being Bi, Becoming Pan”

Journal June 6, 2020 Today, my spouse and I shopped online for skirts.  I told her I’d buy her a skirt for our 8-year anniversary (which I had totally forgotten about until she reminded me).  One would think it would be uncomfortable for me to help my husband (wasband?) pick out a skirt for herContinue reading “Outfitting the Woman”

Ross had been bugging me for a week, “When are you going to be finished with your online teaching certification?” I was completing my training in my brief “time off” between the spring 2020 semester, which had been upended by Covid-19, and a summer session, in which I would be teaching two courses, – online –Continue reading “Coming Out While Staying In”