Thank you, Man: Transphobia in the Workplace

The man who was misgendering Tallie at work has finally been fired.  This good news comes a little too late for Tallie. 

One of her work friends has been keeping Tallie apprised of the goings-on with the jerk who called Tallie “sir” and “he” and made pointed comments when she walked into the same room.  Her former co-workers kept Tallie in the loop about the jerk who had said to co-workers, “That dude [Tallie] is a man.  I don’t care what he says.” 

Before Tallie quit her job, she had complained to her supervisor that the jerk was misgendering her on purpose. The supervisor asked Tallie to file a formal complaint with Human Resources (HR). Tallie was uncomfortable doing so, but did it anyway, and that decision turned out to be a big mistake.

The HR person assigned to Tallie’s case showed her own transphobia right away.  After taking a report over the phone, the HR person sent Tallie a formal report and asked Tallie to sign it.  Tallie was horrified, refused to sign it, and sent it to me.  Here is the first sentence of the HR report with the name of the jerk redacted: “From the first time he met K-. K- referred to him as man or dude, ‘Like thank you Man’[.]”  This, too, came from the report: “This has now become an issue because K- is intentionally misgendering him.” WTF?

As a writing teacher, I should have been shocked that a professional HR report from a large non-profit hospital system was full of grammatical errors. But I missed the dependent clause being handled as an independent clause: “From the first time he met K-.”  Yep, that was the “sentence.” I didn’t notice this on my first read because of the glaring misgendering in the report itself!  “From the first time he…”  and “K- referred to him…”  and “K- is intentionally misgendering him.”  He. Him.

Appalling.  Unacceptable.  And, in Illinois, illegal.  According to Illinois.gov “On Friday, August 13, 2021, the Second District Appellate Court of Illinois affirmed the expansive protections of the Illinois Human Rights Act (Act) for transgender individuals.” This expansion of human rights was a result of a court case against Hobby Lobby.  Illinois.gov states, “The decision recognized that a person’s gender identity is a valid basis for determining a person’s sex under the law.”  Illinois Governor JB Pritzker stated, “Ours is a welcoming and inclusive state, and the Illinois Department of Human Rights will go toe to toe with any employer or business that tries to treat individuals differently because of their identity.”

Before Tallie would sign anything, she asked for a correction, and spoke to a different HR person who assured her they would assign someone else to her case.  They also told her they were consulting with their lawyers. This huge non-profit medical institution prides itself on being LGBTQ+ friendly, and they often sponsor Pride events, including one in our small Illinois town.

HR did NOT reassign the case to a new person and did not do anything additional to investigate the complaint. Why? The hospital where Tallie once worked is based in Missouri, although Tallie worked at a branch in Illinois.  Missouri has been doubling down on anti-trans rhetoric, has pressured the trans center in St. Louis to stop providing gender-affirming care to youth, and this summer Missouri’s governor signed a bill that bans trans care for all youth in the state.  (For clarification, and for the 15^th million-time, gender-affirming care for children does NOT include surgeries.) 

The Human Resources Department at Tallie’s workplace and their lawyers decided the HR employee’s misgendering of Tallie was no big deal.  An accident. A simple “oops!” and then to rub salt in the wound of indignity, the “investigation” showed that K- did nothing wrong. 

HR claimed it was “a he said/she said” situation.  None of Tallie’s co-workers were interviewed.  None of her witnesses questioned. They told Tallie her eyewitnesses’ testimony would be hearsay.  HR also told her they couldn’t consider K-‘s history of bullying and other complaints against him because those complaints didn’t pertain to her situation. The “he said/she said” excuse smacked of unchecked sexual harassment from back in the day, for sure, and wreaked of full-on transphobia. Inclusive and supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, my ass. 

I am exhausted by corporate whitewashing, greenwashing, and gaslighting, but that is a rant for another day.

I told Tallie that if she felt unsafe at work, she should quit.  She was determined to tough it out and kept reporting to work.  She suffered panic attack after panic attack.  She still saw K- in the hallways and she knew her employer had no intention of protecting her.

After I assured her I preferred a healthy wife to an anxious, panicky, unhappy, and, let’s face it, bullied wife, she quit.  She quit without a two-week notice because it was unsafe to be there.  She knew deep down that if something happened to her because she was trans, her employer and the institution’s HR did not care.

This, too, came from the report: “This has now become an issue because K- is intentionally misgendering him.” WTF?

K- kept his job and suffered no consequences for intentionally misgendering and bullying Tallie.  As a matter of fact, during “the investigation” that wasn’t an investigation, K- was put on leave, while Tallie was showing up to work frazzled, anxious, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Once the non-investigation was closed, K- received back pay.  And, of course, after Tallie quit, K- continued to bully people at work.

But transphobes be transphobing, and bullies be getting by with bullying (just look at all the anti-trans bills being passed, all the anti-diversity outrage being flung at and by school boards, just look at the previous U.S. president –it seems there’s a big percentage of Americans who love a good bully).

Recently, two of Tallie’s former co-workers gave their boss an ultimatum: Fire K- or they would quit.  HR was again brought in to investigate, and this time, HR actually investigated and found – da dum! – K- was behaving inappropriately at work, was insubordinate, and they fired him.

Which brings us to the present and explains why we haven’t yet filed a complaint with Illinois (and we have that sweet, sweet hard evidence).  We were waiting to see what would happen with K-, if anything, because sooner or later bullies get called out (again, see our previous U.S. president).

After K- was finally fired, Tallie’s former co-workers contacted her and asked her to consider returning to work there.  I was against the idea, but Tallie is a grown woman and I can’t stop her from doing what she wants to do. She liked her old job and she likes most of her old co-workers. She said to me when explaining why she was considering returning even after all of that, “It was work I was proud of!”

What was Tallie’s job at the hospital? She was a housekeeper, one of the most underappreciated jobs a person could have. Yet there was my kind, loving, hard-working Tallie proud of her contribution to our community, proud of her work at the hospital.

Then K- came along and spouted his hate at her, and a transphobe in HR came along and failed to do her job, and the Missouri attorney came along and told HR they were in the clear, and Tallie felt unsafe, so she quit.

Tallie decided she wants to return to the hospital, so her co-worker checked with the housekeeping supervisor about bringing Tallie back, and guess what?

They can’t hire her back because she quit without notice.

Yes, we’re filing a complaint with the state of Illinois.  Yes, we’re furious. 

The “he said/she said” excuse smacked of unchecked sexual harassment from back in the day, for sure, and wreaked of full-on transphobia.